pool party and bowling

memorial day... 

i worked till 6 or so and was pretty tired and wanted to go straight to bed once i got home but of course i didnt.... i knew i had to be up at 12 in order to get ready for pick up at 1230... im not sure what time i actually went to bed all that being said... i was tired and am tired so i might ramble but i try to keep my days off sleep even with my work days sleep...

anyway... so there is a pool party that starts at one... i wasnt really sure if i was going or not (sunday) but i have friends that dont really give me a choice in the matter (which im appreciative of)... i really dont like gatherings (other than church) and i try to avoid them the best i can... but certain ppl will drag you to everything which works out well for me cause other wise i wouldnt be doing anything at all and i would just be that guy who only leaves the house to go to work... 

so... friend picked me up and off to the party...

we ate... waited.... and began to swim...we were at a friends moms house and her pool is pretty big... its bigger than some apartment pools i have seen lol... there were about 16 ppl there... 

it was a lot of fun if you leave out the part were 2 of the ppl kept going under the water and grabbing my legs pulling me under (usually when i wasnt paying attention) crazy "friends".... but it was really cool i had a lot of fun which was nice... and i wasnt to to tired till the ride home and then i was ready for bed...

 but my friend that picked my up asked if i wanted to do something and i said if he didnt then no... we ended up going to wendys and while there his friend calls him in-order to see if he wants to go bowling... so i ended up going with them... we bowled 5 games.... i broke 100 the first 3 90 on the 4th and im not even sure what happen on the 5th lol.... but it was also fun... i got to know my friends friend a bit more... the only down part is now i have a part of skin missing from my thumb... stupid bowling ball lol...

so we went to wal-mart after bowling which is custom for my friend and his friend... nothing exciting happened there... for the most part the only thing worth mentioning is they fact that the one friend kept asking the other if he was okay.... "why are you mad..." 

so all in all... i had a great day...

little disappointed

so my church had elections 2 weeks ago... i was nominated for 2 spots... one i really didnt want/care for... and the other i felt unworthy

we were suppose to have the results last sunday but i didnt see anything so i really dont know but whatever

the way i have been told ("word on the street")
i got the position i didnt really care for... i mean there were 5 nominees and 5 positions so no brainer there lol
but...
i was told i didnt make the one i felt unworthy.... now the one i didnt think i deserved was for church board... and as i told a co-worker i view church board members as the uppity ups (the ones that are the highest level of christian (sorta) but who also judge the most).... to explain further... the church board isnt something you play around with... the church can thrive or fall by the littlest of decisions...  with that you want the "higher" christians... see but i struggle with that part i mean you want the best christians the ones who attend all the time, pray, praise, blah blah... but those ppl seem to live in a time that has passed (meaning a lot of the times they are stuck with the ideals of yesterday instead of focusing on today)

anyway...............
i got to say that it kinda hurts losing... in elections you always want to win... just like when your playing a game you want to be picked.... its like whats the point of even being considered if rejection comes...

however,
im not where i should be as a christian when it comes to being the example... i dont read the bible... my prayer life exists but isnt prominent (and what i mean by that is i pray all the time but normally about the same kinda things and i dont cast a wide net with my prayer meaning pray for this person that person this child that orphan this run-away that homeless person this leader this street walker this family who is being persecuted because they werent smart enough to flee the country when they had the chance...)

but i was looking forward to being on the board cause i would of used it as a crutch to turn my ways a bit... but maybe that isnt want is meant for me... we all know there are different types of ppl out there and some of us are called to pray for the thousands while others are called to pray for 1... (could be just a rationalization)
 it really wouldnt of been fair to my prayers or the bible or the other "random" requirements to be on the board; for me to do them but not because i feel led to or need to but because some other "random person" says i need to....

and the biggest thing of all......... right now i work 3rds.... sundays SUCK for me... i work sat night 10p-6am and go to morning service and night service to be back at work at 10p so i dont get a lot of sleep... and with the board you have to be part of "pastors prayer partners" which have to "use" more time to go to the church for prayer meetings... so i would of gotten even less sleep... aka in the end... this could be a blessing that i needed....

unsure

there is someone im interested in dating... i have been for a little bit but its kinda complicated...

ill boil it down real quick... she is younger than i am and right now she is still in high school lol... so i pretty much dont push it at all... we are friends of sort but not really... which is a good thing cuase if i do want more then im not near the friend zone lol but if i decide not to want more than np its not like i have anything right now anyway...

i just dont really know what to do... i feel that she is interested and maybe that is why im semi-interested in her... but really it could just be much simpler... i havent had a g/f in years so ill pretty much date anyone who remotely is attracted to me... but part of me feels like that is unfair to whomever i do end up dating... to date someone just cause you want a g/f b/f  is wrong in my opinion... im not cruel like that... aka well we had a good time but something better came along so... see ya...

but of course if i always wait to be fair... i might be waiting forever...

(once again wishing life came with a manual)

softball

... where to begin...

i guess i should explain that i dont like groups of ppl... however, im trying to "be a better person" and as such "broaden my horizons" (whatever)

k so last year i was unemployed for a bit and had lots of free time so i starting going to the softball games that my church was competing in.... so this year i decided lets through worry in the wind and just join up....

the first game was 2 weeks ago... the first part of it i stayed on the side-lines (which i didnt mind at the time)....
then when i actually got to play "the coach" (quotes cause he is my friend and will read this probably lol)... "the coach" put me in as catcher (the one position i did not want to play at all... which i told him...)... im not keen with the idea of bats being swung in close proximity to my head (maybe its just me idk)... so anyway i did that and actually had a good time with it... i didnt do much especially since we play slow pitch softball and the catcher doesnt really need to catch the ball cause you cant steal bases or anything... so yeah i had a good time...
until... after the game i had to go to work... it just so happened that someone came in shopping and we talked a bit... they mentioned something that upset them... i was fine with what went down (at the game)... but... i over analyze conversations and things... as such i began thinking of what they said and the implications of other events and blah blah blah... lets just say by the end of the night i lost all the happiness associated with the game play lol...

so this week aka yesterday we were suppose to play again... we were going to meet up an hour ahead of time in-order to practice and blah blah blah.... turns out the other team didnt show (well other than 2 of them) so they forfeited and "the coach" decided to turn it into practice time... yeah... practice sucks when you dont really care for the game to begin with but at least actually playing it is a lot more fun than pretending to play it... so we practiced for about an hour or hour and a half (post game time... so really we practiced for 2-2.5 hours).... its not like i had anything better to do but still i was really disappointed we didnt actually get to play and i was annoyed that we than began to "practice" (whatever)

so by the end of that... i definitively dont like the whole softball thing... ill still give it time cause well i dont give up on things that may or may not turn into a good time... plus we paid money to play and it wasnt "worth the money" so far anyway lol.... i really dont like playing though... ppl get to into it... its just a game lets have fun... but whatever winning of course it more fun than losing although 2 weeks ago i was really happy (post-game) and we got our butts kicked lol.... good times...

so now... why do i even care to play this stupid game which doesnt even interest me at all... nothing better to do??? perhaps, although i could sleep lol... spending time with the guys??? i dont like groups especially ones that consist of all males... trying to fit in with more ppl of the church??? half the time i contemplate running away from the group of friends i have now...

life is way easier when you dont have friends... but its also a whole lot lonelier (scared to be alone)

gay sex in heaven lol

last sunday we read scripture (at church) that spoke of 2 angels.... so it got me to ?... why are there always 2 angels... (and now i will lead you down the path of my brain trying to piece together an answer to this question only to go very wrong lol)

i wonder if there are always 2 cause they can protect each other...
----it is easier to say no to temptation when you have someone else there to stop you if you start to seriously consider...
--------------if they get attacked (literally) 2 is better than one plus.... if the numbers are sketchy one would be able to get away while the other sacrificed himself (figuratively) and the other angel gets reinforcements

or maybe they are companions like best friends who always help each other out or give company 
or they are companions like lovers... but angels are always males??? the bible seems (if they mention sex) to always say the angels are males...

how ironic for christians if everyone in heaven is gay... but that would also mean we are in heaven having sex....

do we have sex in heaven? if the purpose of sex is procreation, "be fruitful and multiply", then there would be no need for sex in heaven right????

how upset would "christian" gay haters be to find out that everyone in heaven has sex and they are all males...
then again think of the woman.... they turn into males and have gay sex... well at least they are still attracted to males
what about the lesbians how much would that suck..... not only are they now male, but now they are attracted to guys.... (sucks to be you lol)

condoms save lives!

(shared on fb)

okay i was going to make a note and list the number of ways that condoms save lives but its harder than you would think to get the stats you are really looking for... so lets just try something different...

first off... i am not saying everyone should go and have sex... in fact im not saying that at all... what i am saying is people are having sex no matter how many times you say dont or how bad society says sex is... (even though everything seems to be about sex)

THE BIG ONE: STD's aka STI's (sexually transmitted infections: new name for stds that can transfer from person to person without sex being involved... needles, blood, etc.)

i tried looking up the number of stds there are and i couldnt find it... i found the common stds over and over but lets face it common or uncommon if you get one it doesnt really matter what % of a chance you had cause you hit the lotto...

std's range from nothing but a nuisance to life ending... in fact some stds that are nothing but a bother if left untreated can result in fatal outcomes... you can also become infertile aka no longer able to have kids, have you std open the door for other serious diseases (not sex related), stds cause cancer, weaken organs, etc... there is much much more to stds than just AIDS being the fatal one... if you are having sex especially unprotected sex... get tested!!!!! there are plenty of stds that dont show symptoms and if you are a carrier you are playing russian rulet with everyone you have sex with... dont commit murder cause youre to lazy to take the appropriate precautions...

pregnancy: NOTHING IS 100% (abstinence is unless you're mary...)... but wearing condoms can prevent unwanted pregnancy... and even if you are one of those ppl who used protection but still got pregnant just imagine all the kids you could have if every time you decided; well lets not even bother with protection... not to mention that lots of times when condoms are ineffective it isnt from one night stands but from relationships... aka sex over and over again... so yes you got pregnant but you could of gotten pregnant a lot sooner... aka the first time you had sex...

eradication of youth: kids... not even teens... but kids are having sex all the time... in fact there are elementary students that are practicing sexual favors as early as kindergarten... and yet we think kids are to young to speak with them about sex... if you arent talking to your kid about sex someone else is... and i assure you it isnt "abstinence is cool!"

there are kids getting std's before they even go through puberty... there are kids getting pregnant before their first period... how can we think that talking to your kids about sex is taboo... your kids life can be ruined because once they get an std or pregnant they become figuratively "ostracized"... is it any wonder that suicide is so high in relation to children... everyone looks down on you already and yet you do something "stupid" and you lose all your friends, the respect and trust of your parents, the privacy you once had... you have nothing so you have nothing to lose... but suicide is never the answer!!!

so moving on to teens/ young adults... how many have to grow up so fast that they cant even take care of themselves let alone a small child... or they are so involved in their own life that they ditch the kid with whomever just so they can have a life... who cares how you will emotionally scare your child because you are a child... nah the life of the kid doesnt matter... ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!!

adultery: lets face it... adultery is never good... but unprotected adultery... come on now... how many marriages were ruined... not because of infidelity but because they brought some random disease home with them... I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANYONE BUT YOU, MY SPOUSE, AND YOUVE BEEN SLEEPING AROUND ON THE SIDE AND GOT ME AN STD!!!  or how about those "relations" that cause pregnancy... the addition of any child is hard on parents as well as the children already in the home... but half-siblings has its own set of circumstances that can scare children for life... taking away a part of who they would of been, could of been, should of been... just cause you wanted something "fresh"... or again the marriage would of been salvaged... but the wife doesnt want to have to deal with someone elses baby or the "baby momma"... or the man of the house doesnt want to have to raise a kid by someone else...

another big one MONEY: parents struggle enough with planned pregnancies... let alone unplanned... KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE... there are tons of parents out there working 2-3-4 jobs just trying to make ends meet... they dont have time to spend with their kids cause they are to busy making sure their kid has food and a roof over their head... the children end up suffering or growing up to fast... the kids can even become the "parent" of their younger siblings...but lets face it money is so bad that even if you do everything right... youre still gonna struggle...

abortion: how many abortions would of been prevented if condoms were used... and forget the unborn babies... abortion scares the mother for life... figuratively and actually... it also scares the fathers in more ways then most realize... there are parents who have abortions and then cant live with themselves so they resort to other things... drugs, alcohol, suicide, etc...

death: we all know how stds can kill and do kill... how many lives were lost cause someone found out they were pregnant by a rapist and the thought of killing themselves was a better idea than bearing this rapist's baby...IF YOU ARE GOING TO RAP SOMEONE... WEAR A CONDOM...  i already spoke of little kids killing themselves due to society... or lets say someone has a fatal condition that isnt even considered an std but because of the circumstances it became fatal to the "partner"... there are also semen allergies (allergic reactions can be fatal)...

WHATS EVEN WORSE IS THERE ARE THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF WAYS THAT LIVES CAN BE RUINED OR COMPLETELY CHANGED FOR THE WORSE... AND CONDOMS COULD OF PREVENTED A GREAT DEAL OF LIFE LOSE... (the actual life and the figurative one...)

do you all get it... when i say condoms save lives... i dont mean condoms prevent stds... or foul around as much as you want just wear a condom... i mean CONDOMS SAVE LIVES!!! so dont you dare judge me for telling others just how serious it is to wear condoms...  YOU ARE NEVER TO YOUNG OR TO OLD TO HAVE ONE STUPID OCCURRENCE COMPLETELY RUIN THE LIFE YOU WOULD OF HAD...

gay christians

(shared on facebook)

im a bit of a hypocrite... while i have no problems with gay ppl and/or them attending  church for some reason i always find it ironic to hear or see gay ppl speaking about "christian topics" supporting said topics... (why is this so??? do i defend a point that i dont actually believe in... i only think i believe in (gay christian rights)??? idk???)

is it more complicated then that? as in i support gay ppl coming to church and have no issues with their "life style" (as its called lol)... but do i believe you can be gay and be a christian??? i mean surely i must... look at all the "christians" that sin... is their sin less important there-for they can continue to be a christian... is there some special condemnation for "christians" who are gay.... orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

are you even a christian if you sin... again you must be... for they say you can backslide but still be a christian and what is backsliding...sinning... and even those that are sanctified can slip aka sin... but must atone... is that the line... one "sins" and is sorry for it... while the other "sins" and has no remorse??? 

first blog about nothing

so im really not sure how i feel about this nor am i sure how often i will post... but i will treat this like i did my personal comp aka journal till it got destroyed.... first off i cant spell but it seems spell check works so that is good... my fb notes dont have spell check... not under google chrome anyway...

k so if you dont know me....

i am 26 (almost 27)
i still live with my parents which.......... i should of moved out years ago but i would still have the same crappy job so instead i live with them and have a different job that i dont like lol (life)...
i am single and looking but not finding which is saddening

i am highly opinionated and not afraid of offending ppl... that being said... i am a christian and so it is a fuzzy line on how far is to far...

i attend church every sunday morn and night as well as wed...
christ is everything He Is My Reason To Live (himrtl)

im a pretty good singer (being modest (and ruining it now))

this could very well be a mistake but we shall see.............