little disappointed

so my church had elections 2 weeks ago... i was nominated for 2 spots... one i really didnt want/care for... and the other i felt unworthy

we were suppose to have the results last sunday but i didnt see anything so i really dont know but whatever

the way i have been told ("word on the street")
i got the position i didnt really care for... i mean there were 5 nominees and 5 positions so no brainer there lol
but...
i was told i didnt make the one i felt unworthy.... now the one i didnt think i deserved was for church board... and as i told a co-worker i view church board members as the uppity ups (the ones that are the highest level of christian (sorta) but who also judge the most).... to explain further... the church board isnt something you play around with... the church can thrive or fall by the littlest of decisions...  with that you want the "higher" christians... see but i struggle with that part i mean you want the best christians the ones who attend all the time, pray, praise, blah blah... but those ppl seem to live in a time that has passed (meaning a lot of the times they are stuck with the ideals of yesterday instead of focusing on today)

anyway...............
i got to say that it kinda hurts losing... in elections you always want to win... just like when your playing a game you want to be picked.... its like whats the point of even being considered if rejection comes...

however,
im not where i should be as a christian when it comes to being the example... i dont read the bible... my prayer life exists but isnt prominent (and what i mean by that is i pray all the time but normally about the same kinda things and i dont cast a wide net with my prayer meaning pray for this person that person this child that orphan this run-away that homeless person this leader this street walker this family who is being persecuted because they werent smart enough to flee the country when they had the chance...)

but i was looking forward to being on the board cause i would of used it as a crutch to turn my ways a bit... but maybe that isnt want is meant for me... we all know there are different types of ppl out there and some of us are called to pray for the thousands while others are called to pray for 1... (could be just a rationalization)
 it really wouldnt of been fair to my prayers or the bible or the other "random" requirements to be on the board; for me to do them but not because i feel led to or need to but because some other "random person" says i need to....

and the biggest thing of all......... right now i work 3rds.... sundays SUCK for me... i work sat night 10p-6am and go to morning service and night service to be back at work at 10p so i dont get a lot of sleep... and with the board you have to be part of "pastors prayer partners" which have to "use" more time to go to the church for prayer meetings... so i would of gotten even less sleep... aka in the end... this could be a blessing that i needed....